Ah, April. Longer days. A farewell to winter; a promise of sun. Green. Flowering. Spirit-lifting.
Ahhhhh, April. An obstacle course of eating challenges.
This weekend starts it off. With a bang. And a barrage of social eating. Friday dinner. Saturday dinner. Sunday, worst of all, hours and hours and hours of family and food and more food and more food.
Then next week… travel. And the eating challenge to end all eating challenges for me – a road trip. Eek. Yikes. Aaack.
I need a plan. I don’t have a plan. Yet. Funny thing though – I’m not worried. I’m, well, I’m “aware.” I’m not dreading it. I’m “anticipating” it. Not eagerly mind you, as some might interpret that word. But with realistic expectation. And acceptance. And, yes, some heavy sighing even as I type.
I know there will be a lot of food temptation. Landmine after landmine. I know that in the past I have struggled time and time again with similar challenges. Oh, wait, I’m supposed to call them “opportunities!”
Social eating continues to be one of the hardest things for me to master on my journey to healthy living. Finding the balance between partaking of off-plan food in moderation and not feeling overwhelmed with a sense of deprivation. Deprivation is a strong emotion. Emotions can lead to eating. You know the cycle, I’m sure. On the plus side, I seem to have conquered my past pattern of pre-cheating. So an incident of social eating is now typical contained to just that – one incident. But this weekend brings three. Three days of relentless food onslaught. Maybe I need to retitle this post The Hunger Games!
As for road trips, what can I say. My last little jaunt in the car morphed into a food overload of binge eating as I gave in once more to my all-or-nothing thinking – that once I stray the least bit off plan, I might as well eat everything and anything until I get back home and on track. Sigh. And what is it about being in the car for hours on end that makes me want to eat!?
I don’t want to go there again. (“There” being the mental state, as opposed to the state of Pennsylvania.) I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to feel the sense of eating and eating yet finding no satisfaction. I don’t want to feel the remorse. The regret. I don’t want “the morning after.” Or the self-recrimination.
I want to go and enjoy myself and not really think about the food. Not think about what I’m NOT eating. Not think about what I’d regret eating. Not think about what I wish I was eating. Instead, I want to think “I can do this.” And then I want to think “I did this.” Or maybe, what I really want is to think nothing at all, to shut off my over-thinking reforming yo-yo dieter brain.
So that gives me the beginning of a plan. The Little Engine that Could Plan. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Moderation, moderation, moderation. I think I can. I’m going to channel that thinking into a self-fulfilling prophecy of doing. Words into action. (Okay, I admit it, my fingers are crossed behind my back.)
What’s coming your way in April?
Photo credit [hellojenuine]