Struggle, Struggle, Toil and Trouble

Don’t let the candy manufacturers fool you: it’s not Halloween yet!  But right about now I’m wondering if maintenance is a trick or a treat.  Today, I’m going with trick.

I’m struggling.  My willpower comes and goes.  My mojo vanished and is hiding somewhere with the missing socks from the laundry.  My “get up and go” has “got up and left.”  But I’m still here, hanging on, often by the tips of my fingers as the proverbial wagon is speeding out from under me.  The little self-control I thought had become routine for me has clearly not.

I’m not really surprised.  After all, my name is Karen and I am a yo-yo dieter.  I have never “maintained” before for any long period of time.  But, I really did think this time was different.  And, it is.  Or, it will be.  My current lapses don’t look the same as what I had done in years past that led me to the long slippery slope of regain.  But that doesn’t matter much, because I know the potential is there.  I know that the slippery slope is never far away.  I won’t go there.  I just won’t.  Not this time.  Not again.

I can pinpoint the cause of my current struggles.  Are you that way too?  Able to reflect back and see the moment, the food, the emotion, that pushed you over the edge and off the wagon?  For me, it was the road trip.  And the days leading up to it.  And the days that followed.  When we got home, I got on track, but then we were invited out for a birthday dinner.  Social eating.  Slip.  Got back on track again.  But since then it has been a series of good days followed by not so good days.  Overeating, eating when I’m not hungry, and yes, even eating very far off plan.

I’m not sure why.  Yes, it started with the trip.  But it could have, should have, ended on the road.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  And I mean that most sincerely.  That’s the question I ask.  That’s the thought that runs through my head.

For just a moment, a month or so ago, I thought I was “done.”  I even wrote a great blog post about it that is still sitting in my drafts folder.  But, I’ve since come UNdone.

So here I am.  Doing what often seems to work best for me.  Writing it out.

I’m not worried.  I know this is temporary.  I am NOT going to fall into old habits and patterns and I am NOT going to regain weight.  The pound or two that keeps bouncing around on my body and the scale are temporary and I will kick them to the curb.  Just as soon as I curb my appetite!

The reality is that I AM maintaining.  If you consider that up and down and all around the same number to be maintenance.  But, I’m higher than I want to be, higher than I was.  So… it doesn’t really count.  But, the big issue here, lest you get caught up in thinking I am worrying too much about a few pounds, is my behavior and mindset.  It is not about the scale.  It is about me.  And right now, me is struggling.  Me is not the me of a month ago.  Me needs an attitude adjustment and to go back and read my own posts and to follow my own advice and to nip this in the bud ASAP.

This is not about a few pounds.  It’s about a good pounding!  I am writing this to drill into my hard head that the time has come to get off the mini-rollercoaster I’m riding and get back on track.

What self-pep-talk are YOU needing lately?



Filed under cheating/overeating, emotions/emotional issues, maintenance

77 responses to “Struggle, Struggle, Toil and Trouble

  1. Jan

    I am up at 2 am because I am in a bit of a struggle right now and writing about it. Too embarrassed to post, which means that I really should. Scattered thoughts, scattered eating. Sigh. Thanks for your honesty. Think I can go sleep now and tackle this later today.

    • Karen

      I am very curious to see if you have since posted about this. If you ever want to “talk” about it or just put it down in words but not for the whole world to see, feel free to send me an email. I’m hear and happy to listen and either support you with kind words or, if you prefer, give you a kick in the rear. Hugs.

      • Jan

        Check out latest post, if you don’t mind. “Mind” being the operative word here as I feel like my body-mind connection is wavering. And, don’t be surprised to find a frantic email or 2 between now and surgery date next Wednesday.

  2. Karen. I’m SO there with you, as you know. Mojo has gone AWOL and I’m struggling BIG TIME. Like you, I’m hoping this funk is temporary and in my post today I tried to remind myself of all of the good stuff (including the recent 20kg loss!) to pep myself up a bit!

    Good luck to you too!

    • Karen

      I liked your approach – focusing on the positive stuff. It’s great to remind ourselves of that and to sometimes put the eating or weight stuff back into perspective. Of course the fact that we blog about it does kinda bring it back front and center…

  3. Lee

    Not in maintenance yet, but wonder how I’ll be once I get there. I’ve been losing since February….and am only at 23.8 pounds gone…..but I haven’t been in a rush because of the struggle I have giving it “all” up. Like this past week, I did buy some Halloween candy….but nothing chocolate. It was my way of saying that I’m sticking to my diet. I got the harvest corn (the brown-not the yellow) and some spiced orange and black liquorish gum drops. If I ration my candy, I can justify having it. I don’t want to focus on the scale-but instead focus more on living in a controlled manner instead of being so out of control all the time. Hope you find what works best for you so that the slippery slide in the wrong direction doesn’t take over.

    • Karen

      My prediction is you will sail through maintaining because you are taking such a great approach to losing. I think it is my many years of yo-yo dieting that have led me to the current struggles.

  4. Jay

    very interesting post..
    thanks for sharing..:)
    Tasty Appetite

  5. many many many many self-peps.

    how long you got?

  6. Hi Karen! I agree that it is behavior and mindset that matter most. Since your mindset is bothered, my 2 cents is that you might want to try forcing yourself to eat really well for a certain amount of days in a row–with no excuses for anything, even for social events. It will get both your behavior and mindset back in order, and you’ll feel tip-top again.

    🙂 Marion

    • Karen

      I’m glad that you got that it is a mindset and behavior. I suspect it is hard for many to understand that if they have not experienced it themselves. Obviously you have had great success yourself with your eating healthy challenge.

  7. Michele T

    I think it’s completely normal to go up and down a little bit around a particular number… though you haven’t exactly stated whether you’re talking about going up and down within a ten pound range (perfectly normal) or a twenty or thirty pound range (maybe a little less healthy). But from your photos, you’re obviously at a relatively healthy weight. So just keep doing what you’re doing, and know that LIFE is about cycles… behaviors go in cycles, day changes to night and back again, the tides come in and out, seasons change. It’s about making sure the pendulum DOES go back and making sure it doesn’t swing so widely out of control in one direction. Some back and forth is just part of the cycles of life.

    • Karen

      I agree and my vision of long-term definitely has (small) ups and downs and all that. What gets me though is actually not the variation in weight, it is the mindset or behavior that leads to it. I think there is some “normal” indulgence and then there is the “not normal” indulgence, if that makes sense. Going out to dinner now and then and eating off plan or having dessert or bread… normal. Getting up over and over to find something else to eat when I am not hungry, then again, then again… not so normal. I’d like to have food be an unimportant part of my life, not a focus. I’d love to eat well most of the time and then, when special things come up, like birthdays for example, I’d like to be able to have one serving of cake. And not then have more cake and then have that lead to more eating because I had cake. Does that make sense?

  8. This is so interesting, because what you describe as a struggle is what I call maintenance. Your struggle was my goal all along. I’m ecstatic to be in this place, and you’re fretting being here. Maybe the difference in perspective or expectation is because I was so large before? I dunno, but it’s interesting to me.

    Ooh, I just read what Michele T wrote! I think I’m going to print it, frame it, and hang it on the wall in front of my desk. 🙂

  9. Another post I could have written a short time ago — or at least about the same issues, including the “what is wrong with me.” Then I decided that nothing was wrong with me, or that if you asked my kids, they would name lots of things wrong with me — none of which relate to how much food I eat or don’t eat. So with that perspective, I let go bit-by-bit of trying to be perfect with my food. Over-eating at a party is “normal.” Letting that trigger a binge is not healthy. I found that if I gave myself permission to enjoy the food at a party, and reminded myself that it was normal, the binge monster would stay at bay–or at least be chased away more easily.

    • Karen

      LOL the kids comment. Interesting that you used the word “perfect.” I have seen several bloggers talk about the impact that perfectionist tendencies have on “dieting” and never saw that for myself, despite being a reforming perfectionist too. I’ll have to think more about that possible connection. I do agree with your definition of “normal” and not. And my vision does include that permission for those social events. So, now I just need to cut out the eating of crap or overeating that has been happening at home:)

  10. Not that I know firsthand, but I think a main characteristic of maintenance must be that it is a constant slippery slope. You’re not in weight loss mode, but you still need to pretend you are, somewhat. It has to be a weird place to be. One sentence that you wrote particularly grabbed me – you wrote: For just a moment, a month or so ago, I thought I was “done.” I am not sure exactly what the context was behind that statement, but I have seen may other weight loss bloggers say things such as “there is no ending – I will never be finished with this process because it is a life long journey.” So, maybe the key thing to take from that is there is no being “done” – Because once you think your are done, and then slip back and gain a few pounds you look at that as instant failure. It isn’t – it’s called life, as long as you don’t let that little slip turn into a landslide. And I think THAT is why we are never DONE – because weight fluctuates and contrary to some beliefs, I feel there is room in life for things other than eating celery and 3 hours of working out a day. Your road trip was just one event in a long line of things that will challenge you going forward – but the key thing to remember is, you KNOW how to get back to what you were doing, and keep your weight in check. You have done it before, and you will continue to do it. Reset mini goals for yourself if you have to – just dig deep. I know you are strong and can beat this….just don’t beat yourself up too hard in the process!

    • Karen

      Thanks for the encouragement and confidence in me, Rochelle. I probably should have published that post when it hit me in the moment to write it, since it is now obsolete. I absolutely believe this is a lifelong thing now. That is one paradigm shift I made in the past couple of years. Finally. I think what I thought was “done” was that I had gotten past the binging and overeating and letting myself get out of control with eating. Not “done” with eating healthy and needing to keep working. If that makes sense. I hate the idea that this will always be a slippery slope. I guess maybe I thought it would get easier. Maybe, for me at least, it won’t.

  11. I think I have to agree with Cammy on this one. This pretty much ‘is’ maintenance for me, too. I remember reading how frustrating it is for you to step on the scale and be up 3 or 4 pounds, knowing darned well that you didn’t eat thousands more calories within a 24 hour period to justify that gain. The body is a living, breathing, extraordinary thing, and for whatever reason, as long as you know you’re doing the work, pounds will creep on and then fall off; like Michele said: ebb and flow. For me, it’s when clothing begins to feel tight and I’m more lethargic – that’s when I begin to worry and get my butt in gear.
    Honestly Karen, you’re one of the smartest women around – maybe you’re looking too far inward on this one; is it possible that it could be hormone related? Thyroid?

    • Karen

      Ah, if only it was a medical condition:) Nope, I think this one is all in my head. Maybe what is different, at least in my mind from what I experience and not knowing more about the day to day for you and Cammy, is the thinking behind the few pounds variance. If I ate well all the time that life was routine, so to speak, and indulged reasonably now and then when there is a party or dinner out, that to me would be great. That’s my vision! So what got me was that in the past month my eating at home had been not nearly as good as before the trip and my mindset was not the same. I need to be able to go on trips or go out to dinner and not let that indulgence start before the event or continue after. I want to be able to eat one piece of birthday cake and not then, when the party is over, go searching through my pantry for something more. Does that make sense?

  12. KLA

    Hi Karen, I can relate to how you feel, it’s awful. I second Michele T’s thoughts to say that you look great. Here is a link to an article in Psychology Today about Scale Addiction. I certainly do not think that you have scale addiction, but there is a section in the middle that talks about things we should know about the scale. I found it helpful perhaps you will too.

    • Karen

      Thanks, I will check it out. I admire people who don’t weigh every day. But, for me the number is only a side effect and not the key issue. My goal is not actually a number, despite my confusion talk about a “goal weight.” My goal is to eat “normally.” To not focus on food. To not have food be so powerful in my life.

  13. Self pep talks…lately every minute of every day….but they get you moving…and that is the point of the yo-yo…it stops at points…fall down…sit at the end of the string..pull yourself back up..

  14. The question is, what do you consider “maintaining”? Haven’t been there yet, but I have decided I want to settle comfortably in a certain weight range (60-65kg) and, once I am there (and low enough to start experimenting) I want to find an eating pattern that allows me to stay within this range. I have figured 5kg is enough room in both directions to find out how I need to live. (That would put my BMI between 20 and 23, if I remember correctly.)

    It is not realistic to try to stay at one certain number for the rest of our lives, but a comfortable and healthy weight range – you’ll surely manage to do that, even with the upcoming holidays.

    • Karen

      That is a great question!!! I think I need to write a whole post about it; I’ve meant to for ages and ages.

      A short answer for now… I envision eating healthy and what I consider “on plan” most of the time. But when there are special events, like holidays or birthdays or dinners out with friends, I envision reasonable indulgence. But that also means not pre-cheating and getting back on track immediately after.

      I also think there would be a comfortable weight range. But for me, 5 pounds is a whole pant size; I’m pretty short and small boned. So that is more than the range I’d like to live with.

  15. Hang in there Karen–you’re doing everything right. I love and covet that ephemeral feeling of being totally in control, but it’s not something that I think will be ever awarded or earned on a permanent basis. As your other (wise) commenters have noted, you’re one smart cookie about all this healthy living stuff. You keep at it, you inspire others, and you’re a super star of healthy bloggers. I think it’s good to realize that it’s possible to slip back into that bad place, but you’re not gonna do it. Promise.

    • Karen

      Thanks, Tish. This makes me smile. And I know I should listen to you because, after all, you were so right about me throwing out peanut butter:)

      I definitely want that in control feeling. Yep. Hate to think I can’t get to the place where I always have it:(

  16. My first thought as I was reading was that it sure must not be as much fun to maintain as it is to lose. You’re eating the same way I am, but I get to see results. (now, of course, I’d rather be at goal…) but you struggle exactly the same as me, mentally and physically, you search for mojo the same as me… and all you get to do is stay the same. It’s hard in a different way.
    I’ve begun to wonder about the other aspects of these cravings. I had an interesting micro-nutrient blood panel done (will post soon) and I was severely deficient in some random things that really could affect food cravings.
    Also, we’re about the same age and my hormonal issues are affecting me like crazy.
    I’m babbling. Sorry.
    …I give myself pep talks all day long. I have a running praise machine in my head. I think that’s why I’m such a cheerful person. I’d be so embarrassed to tell you all the things I praise myself for. It does keep me going though. It was a habit I got into as a kid, I guess to counteract negativity around me.
    hugs to you!!

    • Karen

      I’ll be interested to hear what you learn, Teresa.

      I don’t want to discourage you – I think many manage to maintain with much more ease and, as you say, fun. And, it was fun to buy new pants recently:) Which I only did because I am NOT going to need bigger ones ever again! More on that coming next week, BTW.

      Doesn’t it seem like maintaining should be easier than losing weight?

  17. I am so sorry you are struggling with this right now. You CAN maintain. I know you can do it.

  18. Yeah. I have been hearing you struggle. I wonder if part of the reason is that there is flux at home and you need to settle in. It is not the same as when your eldest child went to school because you still had your younger one at home to keep things normalized. But then came graduation and the party for it and then getting ready for him to go and the planning for him to be taken to school and the going and coming and… well now what? Are things not different at home schedule and family wise?
    Or not.


    As far as what to do. How about a tightening up of the ship. If you know social eating is coming, you (with purpose) eat lighter than normal and stay on your bike a few minutes longer and peddle just a bit harder on the days before and after. Do something larger like cutting a portion or lessening the fat in the salad. Something meaningful to you that might click a bit of gung-ho in your head.

    Sometimes (like this morning) I have to yank of my clothes and say “you have work to do. stop the nonsense.” no mean talk, but more a frank discussion about my FUPA. You of course have your own equivalent on a microscopic (comparatively speaking) level.

    Another thing that occurs to me is somewhere you said you were sort of looking for a purpose or something to do like take a class or volunteer. Which makes me head right back to paragraph one of my long winded comment. Maybe get on that. Try stuff and if you do not like it, give yourself permission to move on. These are supposed to be fulfilling and somewhat selfish times.

    • Karen

      Yes, I just was talking about this to my husband over breakfast, between replying to comments here. I have long suspected that last part… that I need to find Oprah’s passion for myself. That if I had some other major focus in life, food would fall by the wayside. But, I have no idea what that would be.

  19. Karen, I did not read the other comments so sorry if I repeat. I am sure you know what I am going to say but I will anyway. 😉

    This time of year is NOT the time to go up for sure especially with as many social things as you do. You know what is wrong, you know you, you know what you need to do BUT if it is mental & those trigger things like social which you have written about a lot than you & only you can find what is going to work.

    Listen, life is going to be like this forever…. ya have to establish strategies to get past all those trigger times & mental times. And I know people are not going to like me for this BUT ya just have to learn to say NO and also that you just can’t eat at every social thing. I have written about that a lot & how many calories can add up just with that.

    It is like people that eat away all the calories they lost in a week over the weekend. It is one step forward & 2 back.

    Now saying all that, I know you have come so far BUT life ain’t fair, believe me I know, cause I have had to fight this my whole life, BUT if you are one that gains easily & short, we are short, ;-), the weight is going to flow on & with age, even more so.

    I think ya have to just give yourself a good talking to! 🙂

    Anytime you are confronted, step back & promise yourself you will not eat & think about it for 10-15 minutes… if you give yourself that time, in most cases, you will not undo all the good work you have put in…

    • Julie

      Thank you for that Jody. I know you were `talking’ to Karen but you have said exactly what I needed to hear – and have often said to other people. Life isn’t fair, it is like this forever, learn to say no …. yep, need to hear all that today. I just need to build a bridge and get over it. And think of the woman I was talking to yesterday who is going through chemo and realise how lucky I am to be getting my panties in a wad over what I can/can’t eat while she probably will not see her children reach adulthood. Honestly fretting over not being able to eat certain food so I can fit into my pants is pretty small stuff by comparison!

    • Karen

      Jody, you know I always appreciate your tough love:) And it is nice to have someone else petite out there who understands that 5 pounds on a small frame is a lot. So I think what led to this post is that I was in a better mental place last month and frustrated that I had not gone right back there after the trip. And just earlier today my husband and I were talking about food and the notion of just not eating if not hungry and fueling our bodies and all that. Sounds so logical. Now I need to be a Nike commercial and just do it.

      • Thx Karen. I always worry when I write like the above! The thing with you is I know you can do this & I know you know how AND the fact that you just got to where you were comfortable before that trip out my way…. I just don’t want you to talk yourself out of getting back there & feeling good again. I want you to talk yourself into “Just Doing It”!!! 🙂

  20. Good luck, you will do fantastically getting your mind back to where it needs to be.
    Today was all about the scale for me, threw me into turmoil. I don’t generally place emphasis on the scales and what they say and I haven’t been on them in 4 weeks and in 4 weeks of being good’ish with food and exercising I was barely 1gram down – I was gutted.
    I had a seriously big self pity party in my head followed by a swift shop and home with a plan even hubby’s on board with this one 🙂

  21. This sounds like maintenance. While I certainly don’t want to regain my weight by any means- losing can be easier in some ways. We are not at rock bottom anymore. We don’t have people notice how good we are looking anymore. We don’t have high fives from friends and family every time we have a loss on the scale or we go down a clothing size. Sometimes it is hard to stay positive and motivated when you are at or close to goal.

    I am currently struggling with you. I am up a few- but what seems more frustrating is my mind. I am not motivated and excited to be healthy right now. My mojo is missing. I wish I knew how to get it back! Fake it till we make it? That is what I am doing. My exercise is there- but my eating…. I am barely hanging on.

    I hope this “slump” passes for you soon!!!

  22. i have to keep telling myself to stay away from the candy corn

  23. Lots of great comments here…I especially like Coco’s, Michele’s, and KLA’s…

  24. Roz

    Hi Karen, I love your posts. Hang in there, hope you board the “maintenance train” soon! (though really does sound like you’re already on! Take care.

  25. Hi Karen, there are several comments above that I really like, but mostly Cammy’s. I would so love to reach a certain weight, and then be able to let that weight fluctuate by just a couple of pounds so that I could have a few treats, or have seconds on a meal I really like. Then cut back again for a few days to let my weight drop again. That’s what I’m shooting for.

    • Karen

      That’s kinda what I’m shooting for too. Eating well most of the time; indulging with MODERATION now and then. But also, not having food be a focus of my life. Just living.

  26. I wonder if some of it has to do with this time of year. The seasons changing, routines already getting dull, and of course all that candy around!

  27. Julie

    I hear you Karen, I am in the same place. And it isn’t so much about the pounds it’s more about the mindset and the endless obsessing with them/food/exercise and so on. I don’t talk about how I feel to anyone as most people just look at me and ask what are you worrying about, look how far you have come and how good you look. But I don’t want to FEEL like this. And I am concious that if I don’t keep on top of small gains then I could easily gain back every single one of the more than 120lbs I have lost. I know what I need to do to keep my weight where I want it but sometimes just seem to lack the will to do it. I really liked Jody’s comment and I needed to hear that for myself. Sometimes we just have to be the adult and say no to ourselves, whether we feel like it or not. You don’t have to like what you need to do, you just have to do it. Yep, that was today’s self-talk!!!

    • Karen

      I’m glad you get it because I think the notion of mindset vs. pounds is hard to appreciate if you don’t have the same “disordered” (for lack of a better word) mindset. I’m sure someone would look at me and shake their head in wonder that I would be going on about this. But on the outside I may look like what society deems as “thin” or “normal” but on the inside I am anything but. I don’t know how to explain that to someone who has not experienced it.

  28. Julie

    I think my recent slump was to do with the after effects of having my parents to stay for a month, being concerned about Dad’s health after they returned home and were a long way from us, letting a few disliked tasks pile up and not having anything to look forward to – no craft or household projects on the go, no holidays planned and so on. This week tackling those tasks, which of course didn’t take long to do, booking a holiday for November (we are both overdue for a break and need a change of scenery, planning a small craft project and starting on my pile of books to read all helped me feel like I am moving forward, obsessing less.

  29. Well I proved maintenance isn’t for me yet. To many good things to eat and not enough mojo to stay away from it. So I’m working at it again. You will do great. I have found shopping once a week, not going into any place that has food, snacks or chocolate helps any other time of the week works best for me. Chocolate talks way to loud for me but today….today I did a good thing. I was at the check out I grabbed a candy bar, put it on the belt heading for checked out and at the last minute I put it back. I didn’t get that yummy chocolate peanut butter candy bar. I didn’t need it but I do know it would of tasted awesome but my fat doesn’t need it so today was a win. You can do this too. It’s hard, way hard but you are strong.
    Take care and God bless!!

    • Karen

      Good for you! I have more willpower at the store so am always better off to not bring something into the house. Chocolate was calling to me too last week. Maybe that one I can directly track to some stress I was feeling at the time.

  30. Karen, I am so glad that you shared this. I suppose this is what maintenance is. The daily struggle, saying no more than you say yes. I think that people feel that once they lose the weight things will be easier. But it’s the opposite, once the weight is off the REAL work begins!

    • Karen

      Why is it so hard, Carla!? I think you and I have experienced some similar things on our journeys. Both having been on track and thinking we figured out what worked and then slipping.

  31. I think your writing is your own self-therapy. It certainly seems to help you process your inclinations to yo-yo, which is really good.

    Maybe you posted the numbers in your blog some where, if you did, I missed them. But, I wonder how much up and down you have really gone over the years. How much yo yo the scale has done. I am wondering because when I think of the fun biking pictures from your last post, you are a normal sized woman in my book. Meaning your current weight seems about right. I think your yo-yo-ing keeps you in a healthy weight range or your ruminating about your inclination to yo-yo. I am guessing you have never been too far off where you are today. Granted we all gain weight as we age, but you really do look terrific. Your good days seem to balance your bad days. That is a nice equilibrium for the long haul if you ask me.

    Have a great weekend! Enjoy some wonderful tasty apples and hop on your bike again! michele

    • Karen

      I never have put actual numbers on here for several reasons. One is that numbers are relative and what 150 looks like on one person can be totally different than what 150 is on another. One reason is that I think so much of what we all share in common, our experiences and emotions, are regardless of the number of pounds. Also, despite mentioning “goal weight,” I really am trying to focus on my behavior and mindset and not a number. So, you didn’t miss it:)

      Anyhow, the current month the yo-yo is indeed just a few pounds. But again, it is not that variance but the eating and thinking behind it that I want to work on. My current weight is indeed well within “normal” ranges and I can live here, if I CAN live here. Now, a few years ago, I was more comfortable imagining my weight lower and it had been lower off and on, but I now think that is unrealistic given age and my obvious past ups and downs.

  32. Maintenance really has easy periods and really tough periods. I went through a tougher period earlier this year. I find losing weight to be much harder now that I have maintained for a while because I am used to maintaining and am so used to doing a high day, then a low day or a couple high days and a couple low days (calorie wise) that it takes to maintain. To lose, however, requires stringing a lot of lower days in a row, and I find that very difficult. I would love to kick 10 pounds to the curb, but I don’t know if I can realistically to that *and* maintain it.

    It is harder when you lose the mojo around the kickoff to the holiday eating season too.

    • Karen

      That consistency part is what seems to be so hard for me right now. I need to string together a bunch of good days for the momentum and to get my groove back:)

  33. Nicole

    I hope you get paid for your blog. You are an articulate writer and I know so many people can relate to what your going through. Thank you for sharing. Have a beautiful weekend. 🙂

  34. Hi Karen: My daughter, Carla, (she commented above) recommended I read your posts and after reading just two, I want to say how much I enjoyed your blogs and that I plan to keep reading. Maureen

  35. Hi Karen,
    What have you “failed” with – I know that foods that cause me to fail time and time again. It’s processed crap – and seems to send me down a slippery slope into oblivion.
    Hang in there!

    • Karen

      Well, that is part of it. But lately there has been nothing crappy in the house. It is amazing how I can overeat the most healthy of things!

  36. I refuse to buy any Halloween candy this year! We live in an apartment, we most likely won’t have trick or treaters- I would rather give them MONEY lol. I’ll ask a neighbor if we get trick or treaters but I doubt it and if I hear we will I will buy ONE bag the night before and refuse to open it unless they come! And the kid who I think is last will get the rest of it (much to their parents dismay) lol. 😉 Hubby already tried to buy some and I was like NO!

    • Karen

      I won’t be buying it either! Now that my teen is gone. Last year we got no trick or treaters. So this year the light stays off and NO candy!

  37. So, with you on this!! Got chatting with my big sis (we are 50 and 44) and I realized that I socialize to much. Not only that, I am running after myself to catch up. Way to much energy spent outwards and not enough inwards. Soooo, have stopped the cycle today, by being quiet, filling my fridge with healthy food, take care of some long overdue tasks, and am starting to feel back on track.

    We are two sisters who are chronicling our journey to wellness, weight loss, balance, harmony, and peace – all with some pizzaz and fun. Life doesn’t have to boring just because we 40-somethin’ and 50-somethin’!!!

    Come visit us!

  38. I am in the same position you are today and yesterday I have wanted to just eat what I want no its not like it use to be, I just want to eat.

    I have more good days than bad and that I am thankful. It is scary to think about ever losing control and going back. I plan to fight the whole way I will not go back and neither will you. We an do this!

  39. I know that I have to stay very conscious of my eating or I slip back into my old habits. For me, I am always thinking about what it is I’m putting in my mouth…

    Sarah @ Thinfluenced

  40. I’ve been struggling myself (my last post is much more negative than I usually try to put up on my blog but I had to get it OUT!). Your honesty above actually made me feel better about publishing my post because it reminded me that I’m not the only one out here feeling this way. Maybe trying to be positive and perky all the time isn’t good for any of us.

    All of this to say, thanks for your honesty, sorry for your struggles, and best of luck with getting back on track. At least I now know that I CAN do better, that there IS a better, and it WILL happen again. Sounds like you know all of this too! 🙂

    • Karen

      One of the great things about blogging is finding others who share our experiences, good or bad. It’s so nice to know we are not alone:)

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