My chatty mammographer last week asked me if I was naturally thin or had to work at it. I’m not sure she was looking at my whole body when she said that since her comment was followed by something about having to work hard to get any tissue away from my chest bones. Hmm. But the immediate thought that jumped into my head was, “If only she knew!”
If only she knew that my weight went up and down like a yo-yo on crack.
If only she knew that last year at this time I weighed less.
If only she knew that my first instinct upon disrobing was to suck in my belly.
If only she knew that my second instinct was “what’s the point since she’s got her hands all over my breasts and probably isn’t looking at my belly… and what kind of person has a job with her hands manipulating boobs all day.”
If only she knew how tempting it always is for me to apologize in some way for my itty bitty titties.
If only she knew just how many people might get a kick out of her carrying on a conversation about weight and diet during my appointment.
If only she knew how very abnormal I am about my eating and that she was really talking to the wrong person about dieting success.
If only she knew how much I had thought about and written about this very topic in the past year.
If only she knew that I could not decide if I was flattered by her comment or horrified that she’d even be thinking anything along those lines. No more deluding myself that medical personal are not paying any attention.
If only she knew that my dreams that night would include me stepping on the scale and seeing a huge number that I have never ever come close to seeing in real life.
If only she knew that a casual passing comment may not be casual and passing at all in the mind of the person she’s talking with.
If only she knew that I would rush home and write a blog post to share with the world about this experience.
Gotten any strange comments yourself lately?