For years I have chased the ever elusive, utopian state of “maintenance.” Lose, regain, lose, regain. Pull out hair.
So you might think I would be happy today, as I sit here typing. For months now, I have been there. Maintaining. Yes, the scale bounces up a few pounds and then (ever so frustratingly slowly) down a few pound. Over and over again. But always in the same range. I’m maintaining! Woo hoo? Boo hoo. Because despite my many past attempts to achieve exactly this situation, I am not trying to maintain now. I am trying to lose! Clearly I am not trying hard enough:(
I am eating well. Most of the time. Yes, there is that little consistency issue. But overall, given my workouts, I am in a calorie deficit almost every day. Hello scale! Did you hear me? A calorie deficit, I said. But what might frustrate me most about this plateau, if that’s what it is, is knowing that many times in the past I had “plateaued” eating a whole lotta tastier crap. Truth! That’s why I hate that whole weight loss math thing.
I know, I know. It’s about living healthy, not about losing weight. I know. It’s about my behaviors and how I feel and not about a magic number. The sane, rational, optimistic (against my nature) part of me knows all that. But really, people. Anyone out there who has ever weighed more than she or he wants to weigh can probably relate to me on this one. When we work hard and do things right we
want expect to be rewarded! And you and I know what reward we want.
I am not perfect. (Yes, I admit it.) My eating is not only not perfect but has a lot of room for improvement. But truth be told, if I’m gonna sit at the same weight day in and day out I might just rather be doing it eating ice cream and cookies instead of fruit and veggies. Just keeping it real here.
So, I guess the logical conclusion to this post is for me to have an epiphany from self-reflection and to suddenly see where I have been going wrong or slipping up just a bit and then to move on with a great plan that will get me the results I really, really want to see. Could I be working harder? Yes. Could I be eating less? Sadly, a resounding yes. Is it time to tighten up my allegorical belt. Okay, damn it, yes.
blue = weight; green = trend; stats from Feb. 10 – March 17; 3.2 pound variance from high to low