Have you done it too? Told yourself that since you have blown your diet you might as well eat everything imaginable and restart tomorrow? The all or nothing mentality that means when you trip, you fall in the biggest way you can manage? The “I ate one cookie I might as well eat the whole pack” thinking?
I think this mindset is one of my greatest stumbling blocks. There was no pun intended here but now that I read it I realize it paints the perfect visual image. Because I still stumble. And may always stumble. But somehow I need to learn how to right myself after that little slip rather than falling head over heals all the way down a flight of stairs and head-first into the cookie jar. Where I eat until, like Winnie the Pooh and his jar of honey, I get stuck and can’t get out.
I don’t get it. I am practical. I am smart enough to realize that if I add two and two I will get extra pounds on the scale. I am so close to being in maintenance that I can kiss it. But lately I have been kissing things I should not be kissing and you know what kissing leads to! After a night of indulgence, food does not respect me in the morning. It sneaks out leaving a trail of packaging and poundage in its wake.
My latest big stumble, at the lake a week and a half ago, included eating two cinnamon rolls the size of dinner plates. I kid you not! And one little smore that kicked off my binge led to me finishing the open sleeve of graham crackers. And if I was going to cheat I might as well have a corner of a brownie. But what about the other three corners? And then the lonely middle left behind? And the chips as a salt chaser after the sweets? Go big or go home turned into… go home bigger!
I haven’t gone crazy like that with off-plan food in a long time. But it brings back memories of all the times I had done it in years past. And it feels just a bit too much like the little overeating stumbles I have had off and on for the last two months. Evenings when I eat one thing, albeit healthy, and immediately think about what I can eat next. It is amazing how I can find enough so-called healthy food to replicate the “I ate one donut I might as well eat the whole dozen” mindset.
I’m sharing some of my binge mentality here because I feel I need to be honest with myself. I need to write it here, where I share my successes too. I need to put the words in print so that I never, ever want to write them again. I need to remind myself that after the first several servings, the food doesn’t even taste all that good. But I now know that I can go back to the lake and not replicate my crazy eating frenzy. So I am going to tell myself that the same thing applies anywhere, to any type of food. If I cheat with one thing, regardless of how healthy or junky it is, I need to stop. I heard someone say the other day that no one gets fat from one piece of cake. Time to put an end to eating the whole thing. One piece is one piece and life goes on. A whole cake is another story altogether.