There I was, all weekend, afloat in a lake of junk food and sweets. I felt that I was constantly treading water, just doing what I could to keep my head above the surface.
Bu the weekend is over and my feet are firmly back on the ground and I am happy to be able to say that while treading water wore me out, it didn’t wear me down.
This weekend I did not succumb to food temptation. I did not eat the bagels, the cinnamon rolls (hot from the oven dripping with icing), the smores, the dump cake or the ice cream, the chips (three kinds), the breads, any of the many variety of 100-calorie snack packs, the sugar wafers, the oreos, or any other food I had deemed off-limits for myself. However, I will say that when I use the treading water analogy, I am somewhat serious, in that much of the weekend I thought about NOT eating those things and I felt the constant struggle, albeit a mental one rather than a physical one. Also I have to admit that I snacked more than I do at home – lots of fruit and a lot of low-fat cheese. Nothing “bad” but certainly more than I should have and often when I was not physically hungry. But I am okay with that particular overeating in this instance because it got me through and helped me with my main goal of avoiding the other stuff. So baby steps.
In the interest of full-disclosure, there was one goal that I did not meet: writing down everything I ate. I started. But I quickly got lazy because I was doing it privately on a note pad in my bedroom in the basement and it was just too much of a hassle to keep going off to update things. Now, when I think about this, I tell myself maybe I should have used that very hassle as more of deterrent and made myself take the short hike to my room to write down snacks before I ate them. If nothing else, I would have burned a few extra calories that way.
As for my ghost, I think maybe the spectral being has changed how she manifests herself. I feel that I will not backslide like I did last year. (Or so many times in the past.) I just have too much commitment now, and support from all of you, to let myself do that! But there certainly is still some presence at the lake that haunts me. I still battle the thoughts of food down there in a way that I don’t at home. The setting and the circumstance lead to it, and those are things that will be that way time and time again. I can’t control that or the food that surrounds me there, but I am working hard at controlling myself around the food.
Surprisingly, I felt another presence at the lake this weekend. Watching over me. YOU! Your wonderful comments and amazing support carried me through my internet breakation and I want to thank you all. I thought of you on more than one occasion over the past few days when I felt my resolve and willpower waver. If there is a ghost that lingers at the lake house, there is also now a slew of good spirits that follow me where temptation lays. Thank you for that:)
So mostly today I am breathing a sigh of relief that I am back home and on track and that I made it through the weekend with only a bit of guilt over my eating. I am already thinking about my next family trip to the lake in just over a week. And how I can improve just a bit more. Progress, one lake visit at a time.