I got a very unusual blog award recently from Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla. She is an amazing writer and hers is one of the few blogs I read that is not about the whole diet/weight journey thing. As the recipient of this unique award, I am supposed to tell you who I’d like to get horizontal with. Yes, you read that right! Now seeing as how there are naked dolls cavorting across this post, the implications are pretty clear. Linda, in her infinite humor, took the route of revisiting her youth and listed some interesting people. (You can read all about it here. I think she really missed the boat by not including Fonzie, by the way.)
I will get to my own acceptance speech requirements in a moment. First I want to pass this on… quickly. I have decided to give this award to some bloggers who have an incredible way of putting fingers to keyboard and stringing together words that make me laugh. Because, honestly, I am curious to see what they will do with this:) So have fun gals. Who’d you like to get horizontal with?
The award goes to…. (cue music):
Genie – Diet of 51
Kristen – Results Not Typical Girl
Lisa – No More Diet Drama
Now, for my answer… my husband. Boring. I know. But he does read this blog every day:)
So I decided to take this opportunity to carefully write about something that has been on my mind as a potential blog topic, but one I was not sure I wanted to publicly address. I say carefully because not only does hubby read, but occasionally so do my mom and sister-in-law. Being anonymous would make this much easier.
So… here goes.
About my post title – I suspect many of you can relate. Feeling fat, for me, is the opposite of an aphrodisiac. Notice I did not say “being fat.” Because I can feel fat when I am not. Like when I go on a massive TV watching mindless eating binge and feel my belly bloat and my cheeks expand. Ugh. In my mind I am thinking, “I feel fat and I sooo don’t want to be touched and reminded of it.” And for years, my belly has been an off-limits zone. Being touched there, where I usually feel fattest, even in a casual way, was like fingernails on a chalkboard. I am more self-conscious of that spot on my body than any other.
Now I have to say a few things here. First – my husband has never, ever made me feel fat. On the contrary. If only I liked my body as much as he does, I would have much higher self esteem:) Second – being overweight does not, in and of itself, in my opinion, make someone unsexy. There are many examples of women who are so confident and vibrant that they radiate sex appeal even though they are well beyond what society would consider an acceptable weight. Nope… this one is all on me. How I feel about myself. Not how anyone else tells me I should feel. And to be totally gut-wrenchingly honest here… I just don’t think of myself as sexy. So clearly, as I think about making progress on my journey and work still to be done – I should add this to my list. Gotta find my inner sex goddess. Care to help me, hubby?