Yesterday I stepped on the scale and saw a number I had not seen in months. It was not a pretty site. I expected a gain, but not that much. I deserved a high number, but still, I hated seeing it there, staring me in the face. Quite the birthday present:(
The good news is… it didn’t freak me out. Yes, I admit I was less than happy in the moment. But the old me would have been very emotionally impacted by the darn scale and that might have led to eating those emotions away which would likely have led to a worse number on the scale and then led to the viscous cycle that so many of us know too well.
But the new and improved me understands exactly what behaviors this week led to that horrible little number and knows what I need to do to make it go away and realizes that it is just a temporary blip on the radar. I am different now. I really think that. I know in my heart that the number will not just grow exponentially like it has so many times in the past. It won’t, because I won’t let it. I am stronger.
I had not planned to write about this yet. I had intended to keep this dirty little secret to myself until I had indeed turned things around and could write about how I had succeeded. But sometimes when I sit at the keyboard my fingers go where they want to go and my brain follows along, racing to catch up. So, here I am, having to tell you about the number itself rather than reporting it as ancient history of another battle won.
But make no mistake, I am not worried. Disappointed, yes. Worried, no.
I learned some things this week. I am going to chalk this little uptick up to lessons I still needed. And move on. There were some bad days in Dietville. But today (and tomorrow) is up to me and I am moving on.
P.S. Last night I had a medium size cup of gelato with four flavors inside. Of course I had to sample ten to narrow it down the the ones I chose:) Very yummy. Thanks for all the birthday wishes.