Control Freak

I am just a teeny tiny bit of a control freak.  Which makes me marvel at the irony that I have struggled with control over my eating!  And of course I have even less control over the scale:(

Not long ago I had an epiphany, thanks to a comment on my blog from Cammy.  I had written how I was discovering that the journey for me was no longer just about a number on the scale but more about how I feel.  Cammy said, “… Doesn’t it feel more ‘right’ to base your feelings of success on your actions? We can control our actions! …”

Darned if a light bulb didn’t go off above my head when I read that.  I am a control freak.  I cannot control the scale.  But I CAN control my actions.  Or at least I SHOULD be able to control my actions.  Hello Karen!!

Why didn’t I make that connection before?  Probably because I was so focused on losing weight.  A number was my goal.  But I can’t control the number and I really, honestly, can’t control my weight either, if you think about it.  I can control what I eat; I can control what I don’t eat; I can control my exercise.  And while the hope is that doing things right leads to weight loss and improved fitness, I am only directly able to control my actions, not the outcomes.

And then I discovered more wisdom, courtesy of Cammy, in an older post of hers that I had read before but at the time I had not focused on this piece of advice, one idea in a list of several great suggestions.  She explained why we shouldn’t focus only on weight-based goals:  “… I can’t control my weight; it’s as simple as that. I can eat healthy, healthy, healthy and gain two pounds. I can sneak in a few treats and lose a pound. Throw in an extra workout, and stay the same. The scale makes no sense sometimes. My previous inability to understand that was frustrating, demoralizing, and ruinous.”  This time when I read the post, these words screamed at me from the page.  Oh the logic of it all!

So, much in thanks to Cammy, I have shifted my focus about what I can control.  Or what I am trying to control.  When I set goals, they are about my habits – eating and exercise, not about what number I want to weigh by a certain date.  I would be lying if I told you that my epiphany means I no longer care about the number on the scale.  Of course I do.  And probably always will.  But I no longer let it rule my life.  Or be the focus of my goals.  Or the bane of my existence.  I am a control freak who is now going to use that to my advantage to focus my efforts on what I CAN control, instead of letting the other things control ME.



Filed under dieting, emotions/emotional issues, goals, influence of others, making a change, weight issues

40 responses to “Control Freak

  1. Love your Post, I’m following your blog now!

  2. This is so true. The scale is unreliable as is so much of what we use to measure ourselves. Our actions are the one pure measure, more pure than our goals, plans, thoughts and intentions!
    .-= Brightside Susan´s last blog ..OUR NEW GRADUATE =-.

    • Karen

      But just the fact that WE control our actions means we are also responsible if we don’t act how we planned or want. We can rant at the darn scale with abandon. Easier to blame that object than ourselves.

  3. Cammy is one smart cookie!!! 🙂
    .-= losingmore´s last blog ..Another rainy, gloomy day =-.

  4. That Cammy is smart! She’s right.. how many times do we do everything “right” but the scale doesn’t cooperate? Or we binge and it shows a loss? The scale is nonsensical! It doesn’t follow logic!
    .-= Anna´s last blog ..A good day to turn 28 =-.

    • Karen

      And how many blog posts have we read when the scale is just not cooperating with someone who has been doing everything right and that is so frustrating for them!?

  5. Cammy is right on. I hate the scale. Not because it doesn’t always show me what I want to see, but rather because it seems to be a measurement in our society to as how we should FEEL based on the number that appears. We control how we feel based on ANYTHING, so yeah, I agree with Cammy!
    .-= Anonymous Fat Girl´s last blog ..Yes, my “balls” are back =-.

    • Karen

      I am guilty of giving the scale too much power in the past. The power to affect my mood for a day, or longer. Crazy.

  6. love that graphic HOW TRUE!
    .-= Lesia´s last blog ..Can’t win for losing. =-.

  7. I love this post! This is EXACTLY where I am!!! I am no longer a slave to the scale number. HOORAY!
    .-= Corletta Brown´s last blog ..Uh Oh…my honesty wasn’t received well 😦 =-.

  8. sunnydaze

    I totally agree! We should only worry about what we can control and hopefully the scale will follow;)

  9. I’m so happy for you that you had that “Aha moment”. I used to be extremely OCD about food/exercise/the scale. Once I stopped beating myself up and started just living life in a healthy way, my lifestyle changed for the better. Healthy eating and exercise are just two activities that I do routinely, like brushing my teeth or shaving my legs. I don’t fret over doing them or try to bargain with myself about getting out of them, they’re just another part of my day-to-day routine.

    I’m looking forward to seeing how this revelation changes your life.
    .-= karen@fitnessjourney´s last blog ..Ask A Trainer Wednesday =-.

    • Karen

      I would love to be able to write that about myself someday. That it has become part of my everyday routine. Exercise I have down that way pretty well… still working on the eating part.

  10. Those light bulb moments are so important! Good for you for letting go of some of that control freak craziness.

    The number on the scale is only one measure of my progress now but it use to be my total focus.

    Eating healthy, exercising and feeling good are so important. Thin does not equal healthy and I am trying to be healthy and be at a good weight for my height, build and age.
    .-= Tami´s last blog ..Marathon Shopping =-.

    • Karen

      I think you are right. And I think feeling good is probably the top of that list. Well, after BEING healthy.

  11. Honestly, I don’t know how you keep coming up with these great posts! I can so totally relate to what you are saying. And since Cammy is so wise, I’m going to check out her blog right now too! 🙂
    .-= Carla´s last blog ..A beautiful weekend in Ottawa =-.

  12. Ini

    Such a sensible approach. Awesome post. This is true for everything in life.
    .-= Ini´s last blog ..Spring Focus – Day 11 =-.

  13. lol so you mean on days I want to toss the scale out the window I should remember it has no control over me? 😉

  14. Hey Karen!

    Great blog!! Thanks for visiting mine! I added you to my blog roll. 🙂 I totally agree with what you wrote about today. When I weighed in last week at ww, I was up 1.2 pounds. I knew that I didnt’ “deserve” it. But as I babbled out, I was ok with it and decided to get my validation of my work-well-done elsewhere. I’m hoping this week to emmerger the victor. ROAR! Have a great evening! And thanks again for keeping my company on my journey. 🙂

    .-= Results Not Typical Girl´s last blog ..1 mile run: 39 years, 23 minutes =-.

    • Karen

      Oh I remember my WW weigh ins. The only thing worse than the darn scale’s fickleness at home was having to experience it in front of someone else!

  15. Genie

    You and Cammy are a powerful team on this one. Seems like many light bulbs are snapping “on”.

    Who doesn’t hate the illogicalness of the scale? Thanks for the reminder.

    • Karen

      Now I need to do something about “seeing the light.” I am learning a lot on this latest journey. Gotta apply what I am learning.

  16. I am craving some of your enthusiasm. And charisma. And energy.

    Yes. You and Cammy are genius.
    .-= JourneyBeyondSurvival´s last blog ..Practicing Maintenance =-.

  17. Sometimes it takes talking to others to pull that answer right out of us! 🙂

    I swear you are talking to me with this post! It’s a fabulous post!! Thank you so much for writing it!! 🙂

    .-= The Chubby Girl Diaries´s last blog ..It feels good to do something about your weight. Doesn’t it?! =-.

    • Karen

      I sometimes read someone else’s blog and think the same thing… they are talking right to me! Or about the old me. Or the me I want to be.

  18. I love Cammy for her wisdom, her caring, and her compassion. Thanks for sharing!
    .-= Diane Fit to the Finish´s last blog ..One Of The Big Three In My Journey =-.

  19. I’m so with you about being a control freak and we all get so attached to “the number.” In addition, I think women have spent so many generations lying about weight that no one really knows what a 120, 130 or a buck fifty or more even looks like. It’s all pretty absurd. I don’t have any answers, but what I do know is that when I relinquish some of my “NEED” to control and simply focus on the behaviors – setting good ones in place, all the other crap falls into place – as it should. Hang in there!
    .-= Melissa Fast´s last blog ..Sing It To Me =-.

  20. Wow. Your kind remarks made me sniffle, but your generous commenters made a few tears overflow. Thank you to all.

    I’m so glad you found use in anything I wrote. Lord knows, I certainly reap the benefits of your introspective and enlightening posts!

    • Karen

      Cammy – You have said many things that have stuck with me and inspired me and given me much to think about. Thanks for all the support:) Hugs.

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