How Do I Love Thee?

This post is not about loss, although it may initially seem that way.  It is about life and love.

Twenty-three years ago this month my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly.  Because of the abruptness, I did not know when I had last told him that I loved him.  I was sure I had.  But when?  And was he listening?  And had I said it enough?  And did I hug him too?

Now I make it a point to tell people in my life that I love them.  I tell them seriously.  I tell them casually, like at the end of a phone call.  I tell them with abbreviations at the end of a text message or email.  I tell them with secret codes that we made up together.  I tell them in greeting cards.  I tell them out loud with those three little-yet-huge words:  “I love you.”  I tell them with slang:  “Luv ya.”  I tell them with questions:  “You know I love you, don’t you?”  I tell them with qualifiers:  “I know I don’t tell you often enough…”  When my boys were little I told them with song:  “I love you.  A bushel and a peck.”  I want them to know.  If there is nothing else sure in this world, they can be sure that I love them.

So hug your children, kiss your significant other, call your parents and siblings and grandparents and more.  Whisper in their ears.  Say it loud and say it proud.  Tell them over the phone or via webcam.  Write a letter or send an email.  Make a  YouTube declaration.  Say it with sign language.  Tell them that you love them!   Tell them today, even if you’re mad that they didn’t take out the trash or that they put a dent in the car or that they left the toilet seat up.  Let them know that your love is unconditional.  And love them unconditionally.

Don’t assume that they already know and it doesn’t need to be said.  Don’t wait until tomorrow because you never know what will happen today.  Don’t wait for them to say it first.

“The love we give away is the only love we keep.”  Elbert Hubbard

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13 Comments

Filed under family, Uncategorized

13 responses to “How Do I Love Thee?

  1. Thanks for a reminder on this. Yesterday I was reading a blog about a woman who found out her husband of 10 years was having an affair, and one of the things she wondered was if she had shown her husband if she loved him enough. Now obviously that doesn’t give a person an excuse to cheat on their spouse, but it really made me stop and think about if I showed my family that I love him enough. I never want there to be any doubt that I love them!
    .-= Anna´s last blog ..Gas… and not of the methane persuasion =-.

  2. I got here from my reader. I added you again the way you outlined in your last post.

    I think it is important to express love and let it grow. Thanks for the reminder!
    .-= JourneyBeyondSurvival´s last blog ..XXL Birth Control =-.

  3. I agree- I always tell my family I love them- I think I say it a million times a day to my husband lol.
    .-= beerab´s last blog ..TGIT =-.

  4. What a great reminder of the importance of staying connected with those we love and ways to do it.
    .-= Sskar´s last blog ..Wedding Rings and Falling Down =-.

  5. This is a great post! This is SO true….we get caught up in our everyday lives that we forget to tell people how we feel about them…..We should never assume that people know what we’re feeling and we should never forget to tell the ones that we love that we love them! I love this post!

  6. sunnydaze

    I LOVE this post! It’s almost like you’ve read my thoughts because I am always saying the same thing. Every morning before I leave for work I go into my DD’s bathroom where she is getting ready and I hug her hard and kiss her and tell her I love her – she usually rolls her eyes or sigs or some other teenage thing but I’ll never stop. I told her to be glad that I do it! LOL

  7. That is exactly how I felt when my dad passed away almost 2 years ago. It’s sad that it takes someone passing away for us to start saying what we should have been saying all along.

  8. I love this post! Sometimes I feel like I tell people too much that I love them, so this reassures me that I am doing the right thing. My three boys still tell me they love me every day, so I’m enjoying that before the teenage years set in!!!
    .-= Carla´s last blog ..Rewards and Weekend Warriors Challenge #2! =-.

  9. I’m always telling my family (from my dh to my kids and their spouses and grandkids to my brothers and sisters and their spouses to my friends) that I love them and having them tell me the same. We are a pretty expressive family and I love having so many people to love. 🙂
    .-= Siobhan´s last blog ..it’s all about me =-.

  10. Karen

    Our teen drives himself to school. I finally told him the other day as he was slipping out the door that I don’t like when he leaves without saying goodbye first. And really, I like to call out I love him as he is leaving. And nothing is as great as having a teen say those words to me:)

  11. I’m so glad I read your post today. I really needed a boost. You are absolutely right. Never forget to say you love someone. I think saying it is so important. It’s not cheesy. It’s the perfect thing to say 🙂
    .-= Jen-JensFitnessTips.com´s last blog ..Tip #69: Reach For The Sun Yoga =-.

  12. Beautifully said. Thank you for this post.
    .-= Anonymous Fat Girl´s last blog ..Running: a dreamland full of shit & my ideal utopia =-.

  13. I used to sing that song to my youngest. He had one of the little Veggie Tale characters that sang it too. Sometimes I sing it now….(he’s 13) and he says….MOM!!

    It’s hard to lose loved ones unexpectedly. Great post!
    .-= Mrs. L´s last blog ..Sigh of Relief…. =-.

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