Digressions of a Mother

I hope you will indulge me today, as I leave weight issues behind to wax sentimental about my oldest son.  This week he reaches a milestone – 20 years old, no longer a teen.  He is getting older… and seemingly so am I:(

Mothers love their children unconditionally.  We recognize their faults and brag about their accomplishments.  For some of us, our children are the centers of our lives for many years.  That can be both a good and a bad thing.  We can’t wait for them to grow up while also wishing they’d never grow up.  But the day eventually comes when we realize that they are no longer our little kids.

I am proud of my son for so many reasons.  And the things that make me proud have changed over the years.  I was proud when he first rolled over and took his first steps.  I was proud when he made good grades in school.  I was proud when he earned his Eagle Scout rank.  I was proud when he joined a slew of activities in college and stepped outside his comfort zone.  I was proud when he called his grandmother on her birthday with no reminding.

And as his mother I still worry about him, maybe always will.  But that too has evolved over time.  Once I worried about his poop and leaving him with a babysitter.  Now I worry about him making his connecting flights when he travels back to campus.  I worry about him not being able to find a summer job.  Some worries never change – when he is sick (because he does call me from college to ask which medicine to take and if it is okay if he goes to the dining hall with a fever); if he is happy; if he has surrounded himself with good friends; if he is making smart choices.  But now it is more a random thought in the back of my mind and less a constant condition… probably more a function of him being so far away than being older.  Out of sight is occasionally out of mind.  But that is a good thing and part of growing up… for him and for me:)

Don’t think I am one of those mothers who imagines her child to be perfect.  He isn’t, but then neither am I.  And some of those imperfections seem to be inherited directly from me!  But his good qualities really do far outweigh his not-quite-so-good ones:)  And to brag a bit more – he is smart and funny and not embarrassed to hug his parents in public or have us post on his facebook wall.  He tells me that he loves me.  And maybe best of all – I not only love my son, but I really like him too.  I enjoy spending time with him and talking with him.  He is a joy to be around.  It makes me smile just to be writing about him:)

I consider being a mom to be my greatest accomplishment.  I hope that when I am old and gray and sitting on a rocking chair somewhere, my son will still be calling me just to chat and say he loves me.  Because he wants to – not because his mother nagged him to do it!

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18 Comments

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18 responses to “Digressions of a Mother

  1. Happy birthday to your son! What a wonderful post, and time of reflection on the past 20 years. He sounds like a great kid who had some great parents to raise him. 🙂

  2. Awww, so sweet!!!! I love my three “babies” so much too. My oldest is now 9 and I can’t believe how quick it goes. Happy birthday to your son!

  3. DENISE

    Stopping by from SITS to say Hi!
    I am adding you so I can come back & read more!
    Please stop by!
    http://extremepersonalmeasures.blogspot.com

  4. That’s wonderful 🙂 What a wonderful relationship you guys have! I’m sure you both cherish it 😀

  5. losingmore

    beautiful…and so, so true.

  6. Awwww- such a cutie I love that picture! You sound like a wonderful mother and I’m sure you’ll never have to be the nagging type 🙂

    That’s one thing I love about my husband- he’s so good to his mom and she’s wonderful also. He speaks to her at least once a week if not more often and we see her at least once a month.

  7. Happy birthday to him! What a lovely post.

  8. When you wrote that he called his grandma to wish her a happy birthday without being reminded, I knew all I ever needed to know about your son to know how special he is. Kudos on a job well done! 🙂

  9. Thanks everyone. I am biased but he is a really good kid… oops, I mean guy.

    BTW – I am doing a little happy dance since my son just called to tell me he got a summer research position on campus! I’m excited for him:)

  10. sunnydaze

    What a beautiful post; it brought tears to my eyes because I can totally relate with the great relationship I have with my daughter. You are lucky to have such a wonderful son and he is lucky to have you, as well. I hope he gets a chance to read this post. 🙂

  11. Meg

    Happy Birthday to your son! It really sounds like you’ve done a wonderful job with him–which is honestly somewhat rare to see these days.

    And yay for summer research! It’ll be great; I know I loved doing mine!

  12. What a lovely post! I love your honesty and turning 20 is a huge milestone for him and you. Thanks so much for sharing this today, especially in light of my post about my own son’s birthday. Here’s to our kids phoning up just because! xx

  13. Happy Birthday to your son. He sounds like a wonderful young man and congrats to him on the summer job.

  14. Ah, so sweet and sentimental! It made me all sniffly! 🙂

  15. Jen

    Happy Birthday to your son. What a lovely post about him. I hope my son and I are as close as we are now when he goes off to college. Not so close that he won’t go off to college however. He keeps talking about maybe going to the University here and I really want him to spread his wings.

  16. Thanks for your kind words and for allowing me my sentimental moment:)

  17. Loving someone unconditionally is very fulfilling, despite the hardships we experience. My son is but a little boy, and the same feeling you have shared here goes for him. I want to be with my son always and I want the best for him. 🙂

  18. I feel the same way. With my son I see his faults and they are mostly mine – but so are his good points. With my daughter the good and the bad are mostly my husbands. It is funny how the girl took after her dad and the boy took after his mom.

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