Round and Rounder

Picture a circle.  Perfectly shaped.  Plump.  With a hole in the middle.  Fragrant.  Soft.  A bagel.  A glorious portion of carbohydrates in an easy-to-hold shape.  Plain or topped.  Sliced or whole.  Delicious.

I have been thinking about bagels a lot lately.  Tortuous thoughts.  A new bagel store opened up near my house.  A store that I will not be stepping into any time soon.  Not on my current low-carb lifestyle plan.  No I will not!

I love bagels.  But I love my clean eating more.

At one point in my life I could eat a bagel the way a bagel should be eaten – as a meal.  Maybe I had a cinnamon raisin toasted with plain cream cheese slathered on top.  Or pumpernickel with lox.  Or any bagel baked for a few minutes until crispy on the outside, then hollowed out and filled with cottage cheese.  Or as the bread for a sandwich.  Or I ate my bagel as a snack alternative.  Blueberry or pumpkin flavored, eaten whole but in little bites to make it last.

But then things changed.  I don’t know exactly when, but I suspect it came sometime in the last few years after I was successful on my first South Beach diet attempt.  A life without bagels – surely not.  So after the weight was lost and I thought I could eat “regular” food again, I had a bagel.  Which turned into two or three.  No more moderate serving.  Maybe it was low-carb backlash and a feeling of deprivation.  Or the thought that the next day I should cut out bready foods again so I needed to get my bagel fix now!  Three bagels in one day – yummy yes, healthy no.

Today as I passed by the new bagel store I could clearly picture myself, teeth tearing into a bagel, not savoring, but scarfing it down.  Devouring it.  Inhaling it.  The image was scary.  I knew that it meant that I need to avoid eating any until I can see myself partaking in a reasonable manner.  One and only one.  That day may arrive soon, or may take a long time to get here.  I hope that eventually I can eat bagels again with restraint and as part of a healthy lifestyle.  But for now, I know that moderation does not work for me.  I can control my eating by controlling which foods go into my mouth (or stay as visions in my overactive imagination).

Maybe the day will never come when I feel that I can eat bagels again.  I hope that is not the case.  But if so, I would be okay with it.  I would rather be thin then eat a bagel.  Much as I love them, I love thin more.  The few minutes of round bagel bliss would potentially translate to a much longer period of round me.  Round is a perfect shape for food, but not for yours truly.  I’m working on hourglass:)


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14 Comments

Filed under dieting, food, low-carb/South Beach

14 responses to “Round and Rounder

  1. I love bagels as well, and (mostly) have been successfully avoiding them for quite some time now. The number of calories in a bagel shop bagel are extraordinary for what you get! We have them delivered all the time at work, and thankfully they have been in another part of the building so I don’t have to see them every time I go to the kitchen or bathroom. Crisis averted!

  2. Lexxiss

    “Picture a circle. Perfectly shaped. Plump. With a hole in the middle. Fragrant.” Geez, well I pictured a donut when I first started reading! Donut or bagel…they both have a similar ending. I, too, hope the day comes when I can enjoy just one…and I actually think I’d be ok with 1/2 a bagel right now although I think I’d stick to one of the “special” sprouted grain varieties.

    The picture could certainly be me,(as awful as it is) and I do look forward to that hourglass shape again-even if it will be oversized to start out. It’s really good to think through those favorite foods-I steer clear right now, too.

  3. Your blog reminds me of an old boss I had (she was a nurse) and every day she would eat a HUGE bagel lathered in cream cheese, kind of like a sandwhich. That was all she would eat – all day long.

    I personally have been a fan of cinnamon raisin bagels, but I know I have to be careful because I cannot control myself and stop at just one. I’m still working on that. I hope I can get to the point where I can someday. Until then, I just avoid them. 🙂

  4. Sunny

    Well, six days a week I enjoy a half bagel (cheese or sesame), covered in 2 tablespoons of I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter-Lite. 250 calories. Add 16-18 whole almonds, and a delicious, semi-nutritious breakfast. And I don’t feel I’m depriving myself of bagels anymore. However, I’m doing ok on portion control. Until you can master that, it would be tough. But you’ll get there! If an old broad like me can, so can you! 😀

  5. I’m with Lexxis–my mind went straight to donuts! 🙂
    It’s the same devil, though, really, and the only way to defeat it is to master moderation. I’m sure you’ll figure out a way when it becomes truly important to you. For me, I find that buying *any* of these danger foods in single portions is the best path to portion controls. And for donuts, I added the rule that I can buy one from time to time, but only once every 7 days, and only if I’m in another state at the time. That limits them properly to one per year. 🙂

  6. I like this post a lot, especially….”teeth tearing into a bagel, not savoring, but scarfing it down. Devouring it. Inhaling it. The image was scary. ”

    I can SO relate to that. There is no semblance of savoring with that kind of eating…..I know it well and am working toward eliminating it!

  7. I could live in the cinnamon crunch bagel bin at Panera!!

    When you do have a bagel, truly allow yourself to eat it. No guilt or it won’t work.

    Hang in there fellow bagel lover 🙂

  8. Okay, how crazy is this? I have never in my life eaten a bagel, never had any desire to, and yet reading your post I’m thinking, man, that sounds SO good.

    Excellent job, though, on realizing your limitations. Maybe someday, but not now.

  9. Ahh – donuts. I thought that too as I was writing it. But those just don’t hold the same allure for me as bagels. Not that I couldn’t knock back a warm Krispy Creme.

    Cammy’s rules cracked me up. I guess I should come up with a similar plan.

    And I so cannot believe that Siobhan has never, ever eaten a bagel. That’s even crazier than me never eating brussel sprouts. Yet.

    BTW – interesting coincidence… the bagel store was mentioned in the paper today. They actually open tomorrow!

  10. Lexxiss

    Cammys suggestion really cracked me up, too! My first thought….dang I was just in Arizona AND Utah on Sunday. I haven’t been out of state since last May…however it is only 114 miles to Utah. My food brain is always working!

  11. I can completely relate to this post – but mine was chocolate. At first, I couldn’t eat chocolate at all, but eventually I could have it around and eat it in moderation. It was a process to be sure. You are doing great, and I love that picture at the bottom!!

  12. I too struggle with food and my bagel-tire (yes, that is my stomach). Changing my lifestyle is so difficult, but I hope I can continue focusing on health, not hiding my feelings with food, and exercising regularly. All are quite challenging, but I believe in the Biggest Loser’s MO that you have to change the insides first. Good luck!
    .-= serenityville´s last blog ..U – S – A ! U – S – A ! =-.

  13. Pingback: Waisting Time , Archive » The Haunting

  14. Pingback: Waisting Time , Archive » One, Two, Three, Red Light

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