Home Alone

I have the house all to myself for 31 hours.  Yep – I counted.  Thirty-one hours of peace and quite and no testosterone.

Now don’t get me wrong, I dearly love the men in my life and (usually) their company.   But I really appreciate having the place to myself.  A few years ago, before my hubby lost his job and became my daily companion at home, I loved the hours when he was at work and the boys were in school and I reigned supreme in my kingdom of one.  The house was clean for a brief time; I came and went and did what needed to be done without tripping over anyone or their clutter; there was no background noise from anything or anyone.  Ahhh!

Now I only experience these solitary interludes on rare occasions.  But today, DH is visiting a college with my son (and the other son is away at school).  I am smiling.

Last night I slept alone in our huge bed, happily undisturbed by snoring or DH moving about.  I did miss him when I made my nightly bathroom trip and came back to bed aware that I was alone in the house in the dark.  Last time that happened, I broke my toe checking out a strange sound.  But I got through last night without incident and here I am at the compter, bright and early as usual.

I had given a lot of thought to how I’d fill my waking hours home alone.  The old me would have snacked all day, not worrying about meals or anyone watching.  Eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  I might have planned to stretch out on the couch with a good book, eventually taking an undisturbed nap.  A lazy, junkfood-filled day.

Not this time!  The new me has a healthy menu planned out even though I will be eating it alone.  I may still take that nap, but I won’t spend too long with a book because I realized that still triggers a desire to snack.  I will not eat anything off program nor will I add in extra snacks!  I will not eat the chocolate Pop Tarts in the pantry.  No, I will not!  I will make some chunky cinnamon applesauce, which takes hours of peeling, cutting, and stirring, because this will keep me busy.  Busy is good; bored is bad.  I may catch up on some TV shows; I have several months of Oprah on tape and lots of HGTV on my Tivo.  I will work on my blog and visit with my internet friends.  I will get out of the house and run errands if I find myself thinking about food too much.  (The new me knows I need to keep my mind off food!)  And unfortunately it looks like I will have to shovel the driveway.  Bonus calorie burn… thinking positive.

I expected to handle my time alone differently this time, but I didn’t anticipate that being on a diet might have such an emotional impact on a usually joyous event.  I still looked forward to the serenity, but I was actually a little concerned about the whole eating thing.  Not having anyone else around seems to make me so much more focused on food.  Maybe because there are less distractions?  I’m not quite sure why.  But I didn’t expect to feel this way.

For the rest of my day I will enjoy the quiet and just having the place to myself.  I will not cheat.  And I will probably spend too much time wondering what DH and DS are doing and anticipating their return.  As nice as it is to have them gone, it is nice too when they come back.

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12 Comments

Filed under dieting, emotions/emotional issues, influence of others

12 responses to “Home Alone

  1. Envy, thy name is Hot Mother.

    Can I tell you that I am SO in need of some blissful solitude that I could cry? I’m about an inch away from booking a weekend at a local hotel just so I can be *alone* for a few hours.

    ::sigh::

    I hope your time recharges your batteries. Enjoy! 🙂

  2. I can so understand and relate to this. I **LOVE** my alone time. I love to just hang out and do nothing sometimes or just enjoy the silence. It’s so hard to do when you have others in my space! LOL

    I also think when the loved ones are away more you enjoy the time when they are back that much more. 🙂

  3. Alone time CAN be wonderful! Please try to enjoy it! However/and/but, I’m really concerned that you seem sooooooooo focused on food. I dunno, that just seems way too much? Maybe you need to spend some of this quiet down reaching down inside yourself, and try to get to the root of such a huge food focus. Really. What does all the food mean to you? What does it address? Does it succeed? What could you focus on instead, that could bring better, healthier rewards? Is it just an old habit that needs breaking, or are there deeper-seeded issues that now would be a good time to try to identify/face/deal with, while you are all alone? HUGS!

  4. When my hubs isn’t home, I’m likely to do the same thing that you used to do, just sit around, and eat junk food, because it’s there and no one is watching. I can SO relate.

    Good for you for breaking the cycle and doing what is healthy!

    I value my quiet time as well. It’s nice just to be alone sometimes.

    Thanks for the comment, btw! 🙂

    Hope

  5. losingmore

    its the quiet that I love when everyone is gone. The absolute quiet….lol

    enjoy your day, it sounds so relaxing!

  6. I love alone time! My hubs is also going to be gone all day tomorrow and I’m looking forward to some down time. I also feel like I snack or graze… but I think it could be a bigger indication of boredom eating, you know?

    Enjoy your alone time!!!

  7. So far, so good:) Been busy. Yummy spaghetti squash deep dish pie for lunch.

    Sunny – You raise interesting points. Here is what I think: I have never had a healthy relationship with food, even when skinny. Not sure why, maybe I need to figure out if there is a deep reason. But my gut (no pun intended) thinks it is more habit and boredom. Which is why I am spending so much time on here and visiting all the rest of the great blogging gals (and a guy or two). But (and my butt and but are big), since I have never yet maintained, I do have to wonder. I feel so emotionally okay with my eating now… and committed to making this a lifestyle. Part of my focus on food is all the planning it takes for me to make the right meals.

    Time will tell. Thanks for being there for me:)

  8. Lexxiss

    I trust your intuition that you’re doing exactly what you need to do while your family is away. I think with addictions, the further down the path you are with “sobriety” the easier it is. Since you’re wanting to follow your food plan, extra vigilance certainly doesn’t hurt. I think food is as powerful an addiction as is a drug or a drink.

    How’s the applesauce?
    Deb R

  9. I love it when Gord goes out of town and I have the place to myself 🙂

  10. The applesauce was yummy. Only apples and cinnamon and I leave big chunks of apple. I had a small bit last night when it was still warm; I like it best that way.

    I’m still home alone. DS and DH were victims of the weather. They should be on a plane again in about a half hour. They’ll be home earlier than DS would have woken up on a Saturday:)

  11. Pingback: Waisting Time , Archive » Home Alone Two

  12. Pingback: Waisting Time , Archive » The Single Life

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