I have the house all to myself for 31 hours. Yep – I counted. Thirty-one hours of peace and quite and no testosterone.
Now don’t get me wrong, I dearly love the men in my life and (usually) their company. But I really appreciate having the place to myself. A few years ago, before my hubby lost his job and became my daily companion at home, I loved the hours when he was at work and the boys were in school and I reigned supreme in my kingdom of one. The house was clean for a brief time; I came and went and did what needed to be done without tripping over anyone or their clutter; there was no background noise from anything or anyone. Ahhh!
Now I only experience these solitary interludes on rare occasions. But today, DH is visiting a college with my son (and the other son is away at school). I am smiling.
Last night I slept alone in our huge bed, happily undisturbed by snoring or DH moving about. I did miss him when I made my nightly bathroom trip and came back to bed aware that I was alone in the house in the dark. Last time that happened, I broke my toe checking out a strange sound. But I got through last night without incident and here I am at the compter, bright and early as usual.
I had given a lot of thought to how I’d fill my waking hours home alone. The old me would have snacked all day, not worrying about meals or anyone watching. Eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I might have planned to stretch out on the couch with a good book, eventually taking an undisturbed nap. A lazy, junkfood-filled day.
Not this time! The new me has a healthy menu planned out even though I will be eating it alone. I may still take that nap, but I won’t spend too long with a book because I realized that still triggers a desire to snack. I will not eat anything off program nor will I add in extra snacks! I will not eat the chocolate Pop Tarts in the pantry. No, I will not! I will make some chunky cinnamon applesauce, which takes hours of peeling, cutting, and stirring, because this will keep me busy. Busy is good; bored is bad. I may catch up on some TV shows; I have several months of Oprah on tape and lots of HGTV on my Tivo. I will work on my blog and visit with my internet friends. I will get out of the house and run errands if I find myself thinking about food too much. (The new me knows I need to keep my mind off food!) And unfortunately it looks like I will have to shovel the driveway. Bonus calorie burn… thinking positive.
I expected to handle my time alone differently this time, but I didn’t anticipate that being on a diet might have such an emotional impact on a usually joyous event. I still looked forward to the serenity, but I was actually a little concerned about the whole eating thing. Not having anyone else around seems to make me so much more focused on food. Maybe because there are less distractions? I’m not quite sure why. But I didn’t expect to feel this way.
For the rest of my day I will enjoy the quiet and just having the place to myself. I will not cheat. And I will probably spend too much time wondering what DH and DS are doing and anticipating their return. As nice as it is to have them gone, it is nice too when they come back.