Yesterday was a bad day. I woke up with a headache and it was all downhill from there. I had not planned to write about it, but I woke up today in a funk again and wondered if my blog could work its magic and raise my spirits.
I should be happy and have nothing to complain about: my family is healthy, we have no major problems – knock on wood But for some reason the straws added up yesterday and the camel’s back just finally broke. I should have known that my dieting/blogging euphoria couldn’t last forever:(
I started writing a list of all the things that are making me depressed and, sure enough, they sound so very insignificant. Except for the melting snow leaking into the basement… which was probably my last straw yesterday. I deleted the list. Do I still feel depressed? Yes? Can I do something about any of the stuff stressing me out? Maybe.
Years ago, thanks to my book club, I read Richard Carlson’s book “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… and it’s all small stuff.” I realized that I am sooo not that person – I sweat every little thing. I wish I didn’t. But it seems as much a part of my nature as being shy and being pessimistic and being short:) Carlson says, “Without question many of us have mastered the neurotic art of spending much of our lives worrying about a variety of things – all at once. We allow past problems and future concerns to dominate our present moments, so much that we end up anxious, frustrated, depressed, and hopeless.” That was me yesterday. And seemingly again today. I knew it was happening; I felt the avalanche building. Fortunately I remained outwardly calm, and in the same breath as telling my DH about the basement water, I warned him that I was not having a good day. In the next many breathes I went on and on about things that were bothering me, some that were certainly not new and different yesterday… but it was just all weighing on me all at once.
So I am going to move on. I wrote about it. I whined to my husband about it. I am going to consciously think it out of my mind and try to find a happy place. And I am going to focus on the positive fact that despite my disheartened emotions, I didn’t reach for food as my old pacifier. Progress. I’ll focus on that:)