I can’t eat one cookie. Or piece of candy. Or slice of bread. Some people swear by the dieting philosophy “everything in moderation.” But 100-calorie packs aren’t only 100 calories when I eat three in one sitting! And Skinny Cows can make me feel like a fat cow when I eat the whole pack in one day:(
All my years of yo-yo dieting have taught me things about myself; now I need to apply what I have learned. I know that I have very little willpower and self-control as relates to food. I do better with a black and white approach – no gray areas – like the one serving of pasta that supposedly won’t kill me. It may not kill me but it can easily lead to a month-long binge. I am most successful when I cut out all refined sweets and “bad” carbs – no moderation.
Last year when I was consistently eating low-carb, I didn’t even miss the other stuff. I could buy my boys pizza and treats and serve warm bread with meals and not feel the slightest craving or sense of loss. I could walk through the grocery store and not hear Milanos calling. I could keep my hand out of the chip bag. I felt great – physically and emotionally.
So I decided I could handle moderation. And I did, for a time. The rare treat was always followed by a quick return to the program. But then came a long weekend away with family and my sister-in-law’s zucchini bread and brownies. And when Monday rolled around I didn’t get right back on plan. At first it was just one little pound. Then two. Then before I knew it I no longer fit into my skinny pants and my days were filled with thoughts of food.
I’m torn when I envision my future – the future of a fit and trim healthy eater. Will staying there mean a lifetime without another piece of fudge or toasted bagel? Maybe I need to adopt the paradigm that, much like an alcoholic should never take another sip, I should never eat another “bad” carb. Maybe I will eventually forget the taste of chocolate and not miss it. I know that the old clique is true – nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels. And I have learned that I can’t eat just one. One becomes two, two becomes three, three becomes an avalanche.
But on the other hand, I think that at some point I should surely be able to have enough daily control over my eating that I can indulge in a rare treat. Doesn’t that seem like a more balanced and realistic lifestyle? But can I do it?
I know that I will need to be very, very careful. I have learned from my painful mistakes and from the great wisdom of others who have gone before me. I will eventually come up with a livable, lifelong plan that I can and will stick to. Maybe I need to come up with a new definition of moderation for myself. Or maybe I need to throw the idea of moderation out with my fat pants. But for sure I will not buy any more 100-calorie packs of anything!