Last night the dance began again, as it does most nights. I got up to pee, quietly, maneuvering through the dark so as not to disturb my sleeping husband. But sure enough, as I crept back to bed I saw him looming past me in the dark, on his own journey to the potty. Some nights it is him that goes first, and me that wakes and follows. Whichever, we seem destined to repeat this nocturnal routine, often more than once a night.
For me, this nightly trip to the bathroom began many years ago after giving birth. Typical for women. And, as many of you know from experience, I pee more at night (and during the day) when I am eating healthy. (As a matter of fact, about the only time I sleep though without peeing is when I eat horribly – the strange advantage of an unhealthy diet.) But over the years I have perfected my routine so that I can usually manage to fall back to sleep pretty easily. (This includes a heated tile bathroom floor, so as not to shock me with cold, and bringing night lights when I travel, so as to best navigate a strange room without having to turn a light on.)
I am not a sound sleeper. So imagine my dismay when after years of only disturbing me with occasional snoring, talking in his sleep, and the rare flailing arm, my husband began to get up at night to use the john. Sometimes I don’t wake up until I hear the toilet flushing or feel the bed sink when he climbs back in. But more times than not, once he goes, I go.
This past summer my husband was out-of-town one night. I made my typical nightly bathroom foray, still with the lights off despite being alone. Unfortunately I heard a noise on my way back to bed and after investigating (what turned out to be my 19-year old dancing around his bedroom at 2:00 am) didn’t pay attention to my altered route back, stubbing my toe on furniture on the way. And breaking it. Thus proving the theory that nocturnal bathroom wanderings can be dangerous. (Have you ever sat down in the dark only to fall in because the seat had been left up?)
I usually don’t talk during our nighttime urination dance, but last night, unaware that I had woken my husband, I just had to comment when I saw him get up after me – “We are quite a pair, aren’t we.” And we are, nocturnal peeing and all.