I see London; I see France. I see Karen's underpants.

You know you have really gained weight when you have to buy bigger underwear:(  My moment hit me a couple of years ago, probably at my highest weight, but maybe before.  Underwear should be comfortable; we aren’t supposed to know it’s there.  But when it is too small, it makes its presence known.  So I sucked it up (because sucking it IN wasn’t going to do the trick) and bought a larger size.

Who came up with the underwear sizing system?  It certainly doesn’t match pant sizes.  Wouldn’t that make it so much easier to at least find a starting point when buying new ones?  And why does one size of panties cover several sizes of tush?  Maybe this is the secret that Victoria has been keeping!

Do you remember when thongs were something we wore on our feet!?  I’ve tried some, including a pair marketed as “comfortable.”  Not!  I admit it – I often have visible panty lines.  It’s not the fault of the panties, but the flesh they are bisecting.  Even those “no panty lines” panties have lines when worn by a bubble-butt, no matter how skinny.  What’s a bootylicious woman to do?  (And don’t suggest going commando.)

When did copying men’s underwear become sexy?  Boy-cut shorts.  Really?  (I have two sons and none of their undergarments look anything like that!)  I confess, I tried them.  Once.  A longer style that just caused my panty line to move down several inches to bisect my thighs.  Better to keep the line up where it belongs and is almost societally accepted.

Bikinis.  Granny panties.  French cut.  Briefs.  Seamless.  Lace.  Dry wick.  Control panel.  Edible (or so I’m told).

I wonder how much our underwear choices reveal about our personalities.  Mine are almost all beige.  Hmm.  But that’s really because my mom always told me they go under everything, even white pants.  I do have one pair of orange striped with rhinestones on the front.  They were free.  And I like underwear that doesn’t need to be constantly pulled up or tugged down.  I guess this says I’m practical.  And that would be true.

Years ago (when I was skinny and newly in love) I branched out and got sexy stuff to wear for my husband.  It was a waste of money since he never looked at them before taking them off me.  Back to comfy, cotton, high-cut, hipsters I went.

And I stayed.  With many pairs of smaller (equally boring) panties waiting in the wings.



Filed under clothing, weight issues

4 responses to “I see London; I see France. I see Karen's underpants.

  1. laurajean64

    Thongs? I’ve never liked the feel of string in my crack. It’s like a perpetual wedgy. I’ll stick with Fruit of the Loom low-cut briefs in colors to match the shirt I’m wearing.

  2. I go for comfort and wear boring granny pants. Ha!


  3. Diane Fit to the Finish

    This post is so true! I’m a basics girl and still remember when even the women’s sizes 3XX didn’t fit me. That was very hard.

  4. Debbie R.

    I’m a basics girl, too. All black…and pretty saggy and baggy lately, too. I decided I wasn’t spending money on big and new. Fortunately, I was blessed to buy some new and smaller but not too many. I’m looking towards a smaller size yet..I just have a hard time figuring out what size that is!

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